You know what I'm trying to teach myself? How to take "constructive criticism".
I've noticed that people at my job ALWAYS disagree with my thoughts and opinions. It's funny because I don't even talk that much at work. But my co-workers think I complain too much. At first I just ignored them because I thought, "What do they know?" F*ck 'em! But just last week I did a double take on myself. (If I don't keep myself in check who is?) It's almost winter time and I naturally tend to have a higher level of depression compared to the summer and spring.
So one night last week I got off work feeling restless and lost. I started to think to myself, "What if I am a negative person?" Do the things I say at work really rub people the wrong way? I know that I'm not perfect so there could be a possiblity that those idiots at my job are right about me. Constructive criticism is such a bitch.
About three days ago I decided to put myself to the test. I'm going to try and keep my verbal thoughts and opinions as positive as possible. (Notice that I used the word verbal; there's no way I could keep ALL my silent thoughts to myself positive.) I don't think this task will be too hard for me because I don't really talk to anyone anyway. As a matter of fact, I'm never the person who starts a conversation but I'm very good at ending them.
I never thought of myself as being a negative person but rather an extremely misunderstood person. Usually when I do say something at work it's because I like to hear what other people think. I'm not trying to make anyone irritated. What's even more strange to me is someone laughs at me because they think I'm telling a joke when actually I was trying to be serious. Everyone who knows me personally knows that my sense of humor is off and I can't tell a joke to save my life! I'm always one step behind it seems like. Maybe thats why I'm always dissatisfied with every job I've ever had. I don't work well in large groups of people. I get shy and nervous. Sometimes people speak over me or just simply ignore me. But whenever I do get a chance to speak on something I'm always mistaken for complaining.
For example: There is a cafeteria on the lower level of my hotel where I work. Now I could get anyone who works there to agree with me that the food isn't fit even for dogs. YES, that's how horrible the food is. It makes prison food look like a gourmet restaraunt.
So one day I decided to say something about it since no one else seemed to care. I have a sensitive stomach and I was getting tired of paying taxes on the garbage they served in the cafeteria. My co-workers and manager and I were having a meeting before we went downstairs for our lunch break. At the end of the meeting my manager asks if any of us have any questions. Of course, I raised my hand.
"How come we can't eat the same food we serve in the restaraunt?" I asked. "No one likes the food downstairs in the cafeteria - it's always old and never cooked right."
Some of my co-workers had a look of embarrassment on their faces and my manager turned red. Thats when I realized that I must have said something wrong. In all honesty, I wasn't trying to sound like a complaining bitch. I actually really wanted to know why we couldn't eat the food we served in the restaraunt. It always looked and smelled soooooo good!
"Well," my manager said. "The cooks in this hotel work very hard to prepare a menu for everyone everyday and unlike most jobs you should feel lucky to have a free meal here."
Lucky?! Is that why no one ever complained about the food? Because it's free?! (Which it wasn't because they charged us taxes on our pay checks.) After that incident I started to bring my own lunch from home on many occassions. Or sometimes eating a big meal before I start work and lasting until I go home at the end of the night.
But that was just one thing that fuels the fire. I believe the true reason for my displeasure is the fact that the majority of the people I work with are ignorant and they enjoy being modern day slaves and pleasing other people. Just yesterday when I was at work all they could talk about was having a merry Christmas and waiting for the stock market to raise back up. Don't they know that the market is going to crash?!! But of course if I were to voice this then someone would say that I was being "negative" and "close minded". Some folks just can't handle the truth.
So I guess I should take this as a lesson learned. I don't want to turn into a bitter, angry, bitch. So far I've been doing good with keeping my mouth shut and not agreeing or disagreeing with anyone at work. I don't dare say anything that might come off as being pessimistic. I only smile and daydream... Just like everybody else.
I've noticed that people at my job ALWAYS disagree with my thoughts and opinions. It's funny because I don't even talk that much at work. But my co-workers think I complain too much. At first I just ignored them because I thought, "What do they know?" F*ck 'em! But just last week I did a double take on myself. (If I don't keep myself in check who is?) It's almost winter time and I naturally tend to have a higher level of depression compared to the summer and spring.
So one night last week I got off work feeling restless and lost. I started to think to myself, "What if I am a negative person?" Do the things I say at work really rub people the wrong way? I know that I'm not perfect so there could be a possiblity that those idiots at my job are right about me. Constructive criticism is such a bitch.
About three days ago I decided to put myself to the test. I'm going to try and keep my verbal thoughts and opinions as positive as possible. (Notice that I used the word verbal; there's no way I could keep ALL my silent thoughts to myself positive.) I don't think this task will be too hard for me because I don't really talk to anyone anyway. As a matter of fact, I'm never the person who starts a conversation but I'm very good at ending them.
I never thought of myself as being a negative person but rather an extremely misunderstood person. Usually when I do say something at work it's because I like to hear what other people think. I'm not trying to make anyone irritated. What's even more strange to me is someone laughs at me because they think I'm telling a joke when actually I was trying to be serious. Everyone who knows me personally knows that my sense of humor is off and I can't tell a joke to save my life! I'm always one step behind it seems like. Maybe thats why I'm always dissatisfied with every job I've ever had. I don't work well in large groups of people. I get shy and nervous. Sometimes people speak over me or just simply ignore me. But whenever I do get a chance to speak on something I'm always mistaken for complaining.
For example: There is a cafeteria on the lower level of my hotel where I work. Now I could get anyone who works there to agree with me that the food isn't fit even for dogs. YES, that's how horrible the food is. It makes prison food look like a gourmet restaraunt.
So one day I decided to say something about it since no one else seemed to care. I have a sensitive stomach and I was getting tired of paying taxes on the garbage they served in the cafeteria. My co-workers and manager and I were having a meeting before we went downstairs for our lunch break. At the end of the meeting my manager asks if any of us have any questions. Of course, I raised my hand.
"How come we can't eat the same food we serve in the restaraunt?" I asked. "No one likes the food downstairs in the cafeteria - it's always old and never cooked right."
Some of my co-workers had a look of embarrassment on their faces and my manager turned red. Thats when I realized that I must have said something wrong. In all honesty, I wasn't trying to sound like a complaining bitch. I actually really wanted to know why we couldn't eat the food we served in the restaraunt. It always looked and smelled soooooo good!
"Well," my manager said. "The cooks in this hotel work very hard to prepare a menu for everyone everyday and unlike most jobs you should feel lucky to have a free meal here."
Lucky?! Is that why no one ever complained about the food? Because it's free?! (Which it wasn't because they charged us taxes on our pay checks.) After that incident I started to bring my own lunch from home on many occassions. Or sometimes eating a big meal before I start work and lasting until I go home at the end of the night.
But that was just one thing that fuels the fire. I believe the true reason for my displeasure is the fact that the majority of the people I work with are ignorant and they enjoy being modern day slaves and pleasing other people. Just yesterday when I was at work all they could talk about was having a merry Christmas and waiting for the stock market to raise back up. Don't they know that the market is going to crash?!! But of course if I were to voice this then someone would say that I was being "negative" and "close minded". Some folks just can't handle the truth.
So I guess I should take this as a lesson learned. I don't want to turn into a bitter, angry, bitch. So far I've been doing good with keeping my mouth shut and not agreeing or disagreeing with anyone at work. I don't dare say anything that might come off as being pessimistic. I only smile and daydream... Just like everybody else.
2 comments:
What's up Sam :)
Your co workers sounds like the typical obedient slaves, complacent. At least you were able to catch yourself. I guess there is a time to speak your mind and and a time where you have to watch what you say to some people and bite your tongue.
I had an old guy who I would converse with from time to time asked me a few days ago on why I was so cynical (or came off like it) I was being real, after telling him how I really felt about the world I guess he had to let me know when he slid the question in. I don't even know why I even bother. Some people just don't get it.
Ecc 1:18
For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow.
That should be embraced by a seeker of the truth, Ruby, Cause our Lord Yahawashi was vexed by the conversation of the ungodly.
I like that Medieval Music it adds mystery to your topic.
Shalom.
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