What Is A Woman?

I want to be a woman...

How does a woman think?

A real woman doesn't embarrass easily
and she knows how to make good decisions.

So why do I always cry at the first sign of rain
and use foul language when I can't express my feelings?

A real woman will brush her shoulders off
and not care what other people say;
she always thinks before she speaks.

So why do I always belittle myself
and compare myself to others
or lie because telling the truth hurts too much?

A real woman is patient,
she knows how to fix and get over her mistakes.

So why do I always lose confidence in myself
or always expect the worst to happen?

Now I'm in transition.
I know who I want to be.
I know who I don't want to be.

I'm seemingly stuck in my little girl ways
while grasping for my womanhood.
It's like losing a baby tooth
and waiting for the new tooth to grow in.

Who knew that becoming a woman was like
being born and starting all over again?

I'm tired of being a girl.

I want to be a woman....

01/21/07

Sick & Happy

Have you ever felt so helpless?
So down and sick?
Trapped within a place of another man's world?
So far deep in a pit
you swear you could
feel the flames of hell.
Yet so, so cold.
Freezing from the inside out.

They laugh, they poke, they prod.
Completely oblivious...
Trying to see how far they can get
without actually committing murder.

You'll never be able to trust another smile,
A smiling face, all the while dying underneath.
Little do we know the secret lives of these happy people.

That happy man that holds his gun to his head
every night because he knows he will soon lose his job.

That happy woman that hesitates a pillow
over her sleeping childs head at night because
she can't stand the sound of his crying when he's hungry.

That happy teenager that stares
at a bottle of pills everyday
wondering when the nerve will strike to swallow them.

That happy child that cries at night
when stepdad comes into the bedroom.

So down trodden and bare,
yet we live in a free land,
A land of justice and equality.
The milk and honey overflows....
Then why are we so oppressed?

Look outside and see the smiling faces,
So happy and perfect.

So sick and happy.

12/13/06