Starting and stopping, starting and stopping. I could be so much more if I didn't let things tie me down. Carry so much luggage. I don't even think I know how to write a poem anymore.
I admit I'm depressed. There's something wrong in my life and I know how to fix it -
I just won't do it. I won't do it because I'm not allowed to. Unknown consequences.
But I also admit I feel hindered; stuck in limbo. It's a horrible feeling. I never thought I would have to experience things like this. Everything in my life has changed and I realize more and more how little I control it.
I'm surrounded by people almost every moment yet I'm surprisingly lonely.
Lonely with my thoughts that will never be heard. I dare not say them out loud. The restriction is suffocating.
Now I just stand and wait. Hoping someone will come and save me. Save us. If I wait long enough and pray hard enough someone will come right? Or something..
I tried once to reach for help; tried to explain myself but no one understands! No one really listens correctly. I will never do that again. I will continue to look out for myself.
I hold so much inside. Suffering in silence because I was told to do so. But also because I 'm embarrassed.
I should've know better. Why did I let it become this? It's partially my fault.
I honestly don't know what to do. But I'm a strong person so I guess I'll make it through. I only say I'm strong because other people seem to think so.
As time goes on I lose a little bit of something but I can't quite put my finger on it. I'm speechless so I throw my hands in the air and surrender.
The only answer is to fix it. Just fix it.
I wish I could but I can't, I can't, I can't
